A Shot to the Heart
by RaydorCakes
Summary: When a love neither would acknowledge is brought to light, will it be too late?
1. Velvet Hands

**A/N: The story starts off a little rocky, but I promise Shandy will happen, eventually. Unfortunately, I don't own the amazing cast or characters, they are the fine creation of Mr. James Duff. I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas, so feel free to comment or PM me!**

It had been two weeks since Rusty pointed out that she and Flynn spent a large portion of their time together. It had been one week since the Major Crimes team was in a shoot out, one week since Andy was shot. It never should have happened that way, the team went to a suspected kidnapper's house and began to clear it. No one knew the suspect was hiding in a closet, .45 caliber glock in hand. When she heard the shot she had ran across the house, not thinking twice before shooting the son-of-a-bitch square between the eyes. Andy lay on the floor in a pool of his blood, a dark red soaking through his shirt and jacket right below his rib cage. Sharon had removed her jacket and placed it on Flynn's wound, applying pressure as best she could without injuring him further. Her face was tear-stained and her eyes were watery, his blood turning her hands a velvety-red.

She had told the team it was okay, that they needed to find the missing child. They unwillingly agreed and Provenza had called for both an ambulance and a coroner's van.

"Andy it's okay..." She had switched into Sharon-mode, trying to comfort her best friend, "Andy stay with me, the paramedics will be here soon."

"It's okay Cap." He replied, his eyes flitting around as he tried to focus, "It's just a flesh wound. I've seen worse." Both of those statements she knew to be false, but she let out a breathy chuckle anyway.

"So I guess we have to cancel dinner for tonight." She said slightly jokingly but had meant it in all seriousness.

"I guess so." Andy said, closing his eyes.

"Andy! Andy wake up! Andy!" The paramedics rushed in and placed Andy on a stretcher.

"Hello," Sharon said, trying to interrupt the hustle, "I need to go with him. He is my lieutenant."

"Come with us ma'am." One had replied and took her to sit on a bench seat in the interior of the ambulance.

"Andy." She whispered and wiped her eyes as the paramedics attached him to monitors and began assessing the damage, "Andy can you hear me?"

"He was still unconscious as the medic placed an oxygen mask over his face. The beeping monitors told her that his heart rate and pulse were low. She reached out and carefully held Andy's hand, covering her red and teary eyes with the other. She peeked through her fingers as the medics applied gauze and tourniquets to Andy's wound. If he didn't survive, he needed to know.

"_I love you Andy. I love you."_


	2. Official Business

**A/N: Thanks so much for the lovely reviews and PM's. You are all fantastic! I already have 17 chapters written, so for at least the next few days, updates will be rapid. Some Shandy fluffiness this chapter :D Special thanks to ColeMax for reminding me what logic is ;)**

**~oOo~**

It had been two days since the shooting and Sharon continued to replay the scenario in her head. She should have remembered her vest. She had been an officer of the law for most of her life, and a Captain for nearly fifteen years. She should have known better than to go after the shooter when she didn't have a vest, and she should have known better than to take Andy's vest, despite his constant protest. It was her fault that he was shot, her fault that he could have died, taking a bullet that was meant for her.

It was around 9:30 on a Thursday night and Sharon sits alone at a bar, drinking out her pain. She called out of work again, being there without him was almost too much for her to handle. Taylor had decided to give her the week off, but Sharon wasn't sure she would be okay in a week.

As she downs her third shot of vodka, her thoughts become clearer. She had watched the life drain out of her best friend's body, and she had said she loved him. She knew now that she had to see him. Had to just see that he was still alive, still breathing, _still there with her_.

~oOo~

Visiting hours at the hospital were long over by now, but she decided to adopt Flynn's method of 'flash your badge to go somewhere you shouldn't be' in order to see him. The nurse carefully opens the door to his room and Sharon cautiously walks in, trying not to wake him.

Andy's face was pale and glistened with sweat, probably due to his pain. From across the small room, Sharon could see a lump where his side was covered in bandages. She slipped off her shoes and walked over to Andy, standing over him and gently brushing his hair up and away from his forehead. It hurt her to see him like this, but that much she had expected.

"Hey Andy." She says quietly, continuing to play with his hair, "I was thinking about you and I thought I should come visit." She smiles a little bit when Andy lets out a sigh, "I told the nurse I was on official LAPD business that couldn't wait until morning." She lets out a breathy chuckle, "You've really rubbed off on me, hm?"

She slides her hand from his forehead and down his arm to finally stop at his hand. She loosely holds it like she had in the ambulance and gently caresses the top of his hand with her thumb. He was cold, but at her touch she felt his muscles start to relax. With her other hand she reaches for the chair behind her, pulling it forward before sitting down.

"You really scared me." She laughs a little, still caressing his hand, "I wasn't sure you would be okay. I'm so glad you are though Andy. I don't know what I'd do without you."

She leans forward in her chair and places a chaste kiss to his cheek. She sits and watches him sleep, before completely unexpectedly, she had fallen asleep herself, their hands still intertwined.

~oOo~

Andy's eyes flick open around 10:00 the next morning. He sees Sharon sleeping in the chair beside his bed and her hand draped over his. Andy lets out a chuckle after taking in Sharon's disheveled appearance, she is leaning forward in the chair, her glasses resting halfway down her nose. Andy tries to touch her hand but winces in pain, this was going to be worse than he thought.

"Sharon. Sharon wake up."

Her eyes flutter open and she quickly pulls her hand away from Andy's.

"Good morning Lieutenant, glad to see you're awake."

"Thanks." He replies and winces again, "You know you look cute when you sleep. It was a nice sight to wake up to."

Sharon blushes and turns her face away, humming in response.

"I missed you, you know?" He reaches up and rubs the sleep from his eyes, "Thanks for saving me and for staying. It's sweet."

"It's my fault you got shot." She sighs deeply, "I forgot my vest and didn't follow protocol. That's not sweet, it's stupid and we could both lose our jobs."

"Hey now," And tries to comfort her, "I know you. I know you wouldn't have waited for us to find the kid, and I couldn't let you go in without a vest. You're the Captain. We need you."

"So I'm not the Wicked Witch anymore?" She laughs, gently taking his hand, "Just back to Darth Raydor?"

"There's nothing Darth about you." He smiles and looks down at their hands, "It was just a little rough at the beginning. We all respect and care about you, even Provenza."

"Thank you Andy."

"The nurse should be bringing my lunch in soon, do you want something?"

"No, thank you, I don't eat much these days."

"You really should." Andy says, rubbing her hand, "You're so stressed and overworked, it's a miracle you can function at all."

"I know, Andy." She replies and drifts off into her thoughts, something he had become accustomed to seeing.

Andy soon follows Sharon's lead and drifts off into his own thoughts, back to the day of the shooting.

~*~*~ 2 Days Ago ~*~*~

_The team entered through the main door of the house, guns drawn and voices raised. Andy had cut to the left of the house, taking a wide arc around corners in case someone was there. He had made it successfully through his quadrant of the house when he saw a closet he had originally missed. He carefully opened the door and saw a figure. Before Andy could fire a shot he was on the ground, his ears ringing and a piercing pain in his side. The shooter, a scruffy man with scraggly brown hair and a beard, towered over him, aiming the gun at his head. _This is the end_, Andy had thought and he jerked his eyes closed when he heard a shot ring out, only to see the scruffy man on the ground next to him, blood running from a shot to his forehead. Sharon had rushed over and tried to comfort him, using her jacket as a compress. He made a mental note to buy her a new one. He had recalled Provenza using some colorful language on the phone and being hoisted onto a stretcher and into an ambulance. He heard Sharon's voice and felt her hold his hand, almost as she was doing now._

"I love you Andy, I love you."


	3. Spaghetti

_A/N: Thanks everyone for your sweet reviews :) It was brought to my attention that there were a few logical flaws in the previous chapters, they will be edited, but no change in content. Fell free to leave a review, and thank you for your support of my writing, it's truly gratifying._

~oOo~

Andy and Sharon sit together in the small room, Andy quietly eating a plate of spaghetti. Sharon stares at the ceiling and he watches her out of the corner of his eye, trying not to be glaringly obvious. Her face is pale and her eyes are still a bit misty. Her blouse seemed baggy, tucked into her pants but still hanging out slightly. She was in terrible shape and Andy thought it time to intervene.

"Eat." He commands, dropping the fork down and pushing the plate in her direction.

"Andy you need to keep your strength up."

"Eat Sharon. You look like you haven't eaten in days. You need to keep up your strength too, do it for me, okay?"

"No. Eat your food. You need it."

"Dammit Sharon!" Andy bursts out, his short fuse understandably shorter, "All I want to do is take care of you! I'm worried about you, okay? My being here is difficult for you too and you need to take care of yourself!" He debates his next move for a second, unsure of the consequences, "If you love me you'll eat the spaghetti."

Sharon turns to look at him, their eyes meeting only for a second. Her lips press into a thin line and her eyes narrow to look at him. What kind of game was he playing?

"What do you mean?" Sharon asks, gingerly placing her hands in her lap, "I'm not following."

"Don't play dumb with me Sharon." Andy shoots back, aggressively stirring the pasta, "You know _exactly_ what I mean."

"No, I _don't_." Andy saw right through her act, but gives her a chance to redeem herself.

"Tell me what happened in the ambulance." He told more than asked, "Then I'll eat the spaghetti."

"I just sat there with you and cried," She bites her bottom lip to keep it from quivering, "They told me you were dying Andy. I held your hand and I sat there and cried while they tried to fix you..." A few stray tears slide down her cheeks, "Now eat your spaghetti."

He knew she was holding out on him but decided not to press her. He'd bring it up sometime in the near future, see if he felt the same way, although he was pretty sure he did. He loved everything about her, even if he wouldn't admit it. The sparkle in her eyes when she was doing something she loved and the way her cheeks would flush a bright red and she'd purse her lips when she was embarrased were just a few of the things he loved about her. There was so much more to explore and experience.

Andy picks up the phone beside his bed and presses a few numbers before speaking.

"Hi... uhm... This is Andy Flynn from room 23, can you bring down a salad for my friend?" Sharon glares at him, "Thank you very much, buh-bye."

"Andy!" She exclaims, reaching out to lightly smack him but then thinking better of it, "I am a _grown woman_, I don't need you taking care of me."

He flashes a smile and continues to eat his spaghetti, watching her brood about her own thoughts.

"It's okay, you know." He begins, his mouth full of spaghetti, "We've been friends for a long time and spend a lot of time together, I wouldn't be surprised if you fell in love with how irresistible I am." He winks at her and chuckles a bit, watching her formulate a response.

"Andy," Sharon starts as a nurse entered and places her salad on the table before leaving again, "my emotions have never been something I've been good at understanding," she reaches out and he provides his hand again, "just look at how long it took me to end things with Jack. I care about you Andy, and when you were in the ambulance I said 'I love you', and maybe I have for some time, I don't know, I'm just so confused."

She raises her other hand to her forehead and begins rubbing her temples, still refusing to eat her salad, "I just don't want to do the wrong thing. I don't want either of us to get hurt or lose our jobs or... Oh my," she moves her hand from her forehead to in front of her mouth, "you don't like me, do you?"

Andy chuckles again and gives her a wide grin, the kind normally accompanied by a toothpick.

"Why would you think that?" He rubs his thumb on her hand like she had done to him, "Why wouldn't I like you?"

"We've been friends for twenty years, I know you like me in the sense that you care but I mean like me in," she pauses for a moment, her cheeks flushing, "in an unprofessional way?"

He laughs a little at how awkward she was on this topic. He found it rather adorable, the way her eyes flitted about and she continuously fixed her hair, add that to the list of things he loved.

Maybe..." he whispers, forcing Sharon to move closer, "...this will answer your question."

He reaches up and cups her face with his free hand, the two looking into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity before Andy finally moves. He leans in and gives her a long, gentle kiss, lingering after the kiss had ended, craving more. Now it was Sharon who initiated the kiss, no longer gentle but passionate and fierce, their lips and tongues doing a tango neither had done in a long time.

"I love you." Andy gasps in between kisses, "I think I love you."

"Shut up and kiss me." Sharon laughs, inching her way into the bed next to him, "Save the romance for a time when we can do something naughty." Her voice was deeper and husky now, something Andy found all the more attractive.

"Aye aye Captain." He laughed before kissing her again, each one more passionate than the last, "But I _do_ love you."

"I love you too."


	4. The Clicking Cane

A/N: I'll keep updating if you all keep reading! Just a disclaimer, their relationship will definitely have some rocky spots because I want it to be as realistic as possible, no matter how hard I ship them, and I want it to feel authentic.

~oOo~

It had been two weeks since Andy was released from the hospital, two weeks since that fiery kiss. Sharon had moved Andy into her apartment, only for injury reasons and to help him recover. Rusty would just smirk at them, seeing how they were always within arm's reach of one another. 'Old people love' he called it, making Sharon and Andy both chuckle in an attempt to hide the awkwardness that surrounded them.

It was a Sunday, so Sharon was home from work, Andy still on medical leave. Rusty was spending the day at a friend's, leaving the two of them to discuss the inevitable.

"I'm sorry." Andy apologized, pressing his cane into the floor and hobbling towards the couch where Sharon sat.

"I'm not." She replied, pulling her legs up to her chest, "I'm sorry that we can't just be happy."

"I am happy!" He replied excitedly, sitting down next to her, "I'm safe and I'm here with you."

He nuzzled into her chin and began to leave a trail of hot kisses down her neck.

"Andy stop." She pushed him away and rose from the couch, scurrying off to the kitchen. She began preparing herself some tea and her body froze when she heard the 'click, click' of Andy's cane.

"Sharon, please talk to me. What's going on?"

"I don't know. I don't know what we're doing and I don't know how to make it right." She turned to face Andy but continued to look at the floor, "I'm still confused."

"It's okay sweetie." He reached out and placed a hand on her elbow, rubbing it gently.

"Sweetie?!" Her voice raised, "We kiss once and you think you own me! What is wrong with you?"

"I'm in love." He replied simply and smiled at her, "You don't feel the same. I get it. I'm not Jack. I better go." He hobbled away, grabbing his jacket before leaving. Sharon just stood in the kitchen, completely dumbfounded.

She found solace in the cold of her bedroom. The four walls made her feel trapped, but that's how she always felt. Trapped with Jack for twenty-some years. Trapped at work, forced to make difficult decisions. Trapped when it came to caring for Rusty. Then there was Andy. Everything was so confusing when it came to him. One moment he's her Lieutenant, the next they're making out and exchanging dirty words in a hospital bed. It was too much for her to handle, she never was good in social situations, even worse when it came to relationships and men.

She told him she loved him, but did she even understand love? She had fallen out of love with Jack years ago, but still continued to exchange the sentiment. He would come home drunk and smelling of smoke, spewing stories of how much he loved her and how much he wanted to be a better father and husband. She would always reply simply with 'I love you too Jack' even when she didn't believe it herself. Her definition of love had become so distorted over the years that she wondered if she would ever be able to 'truly' love again. The kind of love where you can look at someone and care about them for who they are, not the things they've done. The kind of love based on trust and understanding, not lies and slander.

She could see herself having that with Andy. She accepted his past and had moved on from it. He had done some stupid things, but then again so had she. They relied on each other for nearly everything, a shoulder to cry on, a ride to work if one of their cars was broken, but most importantly, for friendship. They were friends before anything else.

Sharon got up from where she was sitting on her bedroom floor, rubbed her puffy eyes, and fluffed her hair. She walked into the kitchen just as Rusty entered the apartment.

"Hey kiddo." She greeted, her voice hoarse.

"Hey Shar- are you okay?" The pain in her voice was evident.

"Fine Rusty. Don't worry about me." She didn't turn to face him. She knew doing so would only make him more worried and only make her cry. Darth Raydor doesn't cry, not in front of _anyone_.

"Sharon." He dropped his bag on the couch and walked over to her, spinning her by her shoulder, "Sharon what's wrong? Where's Lieutenant Flynn?"

"He left." She replied, turning back around, "We had a fight and he left. I deserve it."

"You don't deserve this." He gestured at her dissheveld appearance after spinning her around again, "Where is he?"

"Rusty, don't." She ordered, "You're not going to go find him. Lieutenant Flynn and I are both adults, we can take care of ourselves."

"You look like you're doing a terrific job." He shot sarcastically, rushing to his room and slamming the door.

Sharon let out a long sigh and slumped to the floor, cupping her face in her hands. It was going to be a long day.


	5. Civilized

A/N: Thanks to everyone for your lovely reviews! From an author's perspective, I both love and hate this chapter. I felt that it was one of the only ways for Andy and Sharon's relationship to progress.

~oOo~

It was Monday. A new start to a hopefully better week. _Hopefully_. Sharon sighs as she pushes herself out of bed, stumbling to her closet, and choosing a dark pink dress. A pair of dark pink heels, some makeup, and a jacket and she was on her way, back to her second home.

'A day away from Andy could be nice.' she thought to herself as she drove to work, 'A day to just focus on myself and the tasks at hand.'

"Captain." Lieutenant Provenza bombardes her as she exits the elevator, folder in hand, "We caught a case."

"Alright. Yes, okay Lieutenant, I'm going to put my bag in my office, I'll be right there."

"Victim is female, age 46, found shot in an alley earlier this morning. No wallet or ID was found with the body, so as of right now she's a Jane Doe." Tao explained, "Morales concluded there were no signs of sexual assault or battery and puts time of death around 2 AM, he'll be able to tell us more when we bring the body back."

"So someone met our Jane Doe, shot her, and took her wallet?" Sharon infers, "What was she doing in an alley in the middle of the night?"

"Let's go find out." Tao replies, and they all walk towards the elevator.

The victim was blonde, about 5' 7 with piercing green eyes that reminded Sharon of her mother. There were no witnesses or a weapon discovered, and other than a shell casing, there was no physical evidence. This was going to be a difficult and time-consuming case.

"Doctor Morales, did you find anything?" Sharon asks once she enters the morgue.

"I did." He replies cheerfully, "Your victim was shot with a .45 caliber handgun at a close range. There's a burn pattern around the entrance wound."

"What about an ID?"

"I ran her prints through AFIS and I don't have anything back yet. I'll let you know when I do."

"Thank you." She smiles and turns to leave, untying her apron as she went.

Paperwork. She wanted anything to get her mind off of the paperwork. _Anything_.

_Call from: Lt. Flynn_

Except that. _Anything_ but that.

"Yes Andy." She sighs quietly, resting an elbow on her desk and beginning to rub her temples.

"I'd like to talk to you." He replies calmly, "Can I come over later?"

"Uhm," She looks at her watch, 2:45, "Yeah. Try around 6. I'll see you then."

"Goodbye Sharon." He nearly whispers, "Thank you."

"It's not a problem."

She ends the call and letx out a sigh, placing her head in her hands. _Paperwork_.

The next few hours were rather uneventful, filled with incident reports, coffees, and grumblings from Provenza. Typical day at Major Crimes, really. Around 5:15 Sharon decides to leave, wishing the team a goodnight as she went. She stops at Andy's favorite Italian restaurant on the way home to pick up something to eat. As she piles her bags in the back of the car, her phone starts to ring.

_Call from: Rusty_

"Rusty I'm almost home, Andy's coming over and I picked up some Italian for dinner. I'll see you in a little bit, okay?"

"Sharon-"

_End of call_.

5:45 rolls around and Sharon arrives at her condo, fumbling to unlock the door while holding the bags. When she finally succeeds, she kicks off her shoes in the doorway and places the bags on the table before turning towards the living room.

"Hey Shar." Jack slurs, reeking of alcohol, "How are you?"

"Jack. What are you doing here?"

"I still had the keys, thought I'd drop by, say hello."

At the sound of conversation, Rusty waves her down the hallway towards his bedroom.

"I'm sorry Sharon. He showed up with booze and he got drunk and I couldn't get him to leave. I tried to call you but you hung up so-"

"It is okay Rusty. Jack and I are both civilized adults, we can handle it, thank you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. We may fight but I do _not_ want you coming out of your room, do you understand me?"

"Yeah." he sighs, "Good luck."

"What the _hell_ are you doing here Jack?!"

"Just thought I'd say hello to my beautiful wife." He replies, getting up and stumbling towards her.

"No Jack. We are _divorced_. You had thirty years to make amends and you didn't. What do you really want?"

"I just want to hold you Sharon." He grins, placing a hand on her jaw, "Like old times."

Sharon tenses but does not remove his hand. A drunk Jack was a dangerous Jack, she knew that much.

"How about a kiss for good 'ol Jack?"

"No. Get out." She orders.

"Sharooon." He croons, "How 'bout a kiss for Jack?"

"No Jack, Get. Out."

"For old time's sake Sharon, don't you ever just want to remember?" He slowly backs her up against the wall and slides his hands down to her waist, "Please Sharon."

"Get out!" She raises her voice this time,  
"Let go of me and get out. Now."

"You know Jack never leaves until he gets what he wants." He whispers and kisses her, slipping his hands beneath her dress, "I missed you."

"GET OUT JACK!" She yells and pushes him back as the door opens forcefully.

"Sharon what is going on?!" Andy exclaims before seeing Jack on the floor.

"It's okay Andy, Jack was just leaving." She answers calmly, fluffing her hair and pulling down her dress.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Andy yells and picked Jack up from the floor, slamming him against the wall, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO SHARON? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?"

"ANDY STOP!" EVERYTHING IS OKAY!"

"LIEUTENANT FLYNN-"

"RUSTY GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM _NOW_!"

"BUT SHARON-"

"NOW!"

"Oh look at that." Jack laughs, still pinned to the wall, "You took in that gay little prostitute after all."

"Listen here asshole," Flynn instructs, tightening his grip on Jack's collar, "that _gay little prostitute_ is her son and we all love and care about him. You come near her again and I swear I'll kill you."

"Wouldya look at that Sharon, you finally found another angry drunk to fill my place. Little bit of a downgrade I think but hey," He shrugs, "It's hard to keep a queen bitch like you satisfied."

"That's it." Andy grumbles before pulling back and punching Jack in the face, causing blood to rush from his nose, "Get the _hell_ out."

"Not until I get what I came for." Jack slurs again, "I came here for Sharon."

Sharon carefully steps between Jack and Andy, "You leave now or I _will_ call the police and file charges. I will be having the locks changed, do not come back."

"What if you change your mind?" Jack spits.

"Sharon-" Andy growls over her shoulder.

"I won't. I'm happy without you, now get out."


	6. Beautiful Mess

_A/N: I love all of you for reading my story. It's amazing to think people actually like my writing. Thank you so much! As always, reviews are appreciated and my PM's are always open. ~CJ_

~oOo~

"I'm okay, Andy." She says before he can utter a word, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the door to keep it from falling open.

"Sharon!" Rusty exclaims and runs towards her, "Oh my God are you okay?"

"Both of you," Sharon looks from Rusty to Andy, "I am _fine_. Thank you for your concern. I cannot stay here right now, I will be going out. Lieutenant Flynn, feel free to join me. Rusty- No wild parties, _use a plate_," she emphasizes, "and be in bed no later than eleven o'clock. Clear?"

"Crystal." He replies sheepishly, "Have fun tonight you guys," he smirks, "no wild parties and be in bed by eleven."

"Sure thing kid." Flynn chuckles and gingerly places his arm around Sharon's waist, directing her towards the door.

"What did he do?" Andy asks carefully, driving away from her condo.

"Nothing he hasn't done before." She replies coldly, placing her index finger over her lip.

"If he hurt you Sharon-"

"He hurt me for thirty years Andy, why would now be any different?" Flynn stops at a red light and absentmindedly drums his fingers on the steering wheel.

"I wasn't there to protect you for thirty years." Andy glances at her as he presses on the gas pedal, "That's what makes now different."

"I don't want to talk about it." She says sternly, "I still need to wrap my mind around what happened. Where are we going?"

"Just on a drive." Andy smiles, "If or when you want to talk about what happened, I'll listen."

"Thank you, Andy." She says in that loving way she does and gently rubs his shoulder, "It's good to know I can count on you."

"You didn't know that?" Andy asks seriously, glancing at her worriedly, "Sharon?"

"I... I did but this is-overly personal-I've spent my entire life bottling things up, I just don't," she sighs, "I don't know how to talk about it."

"Let's start with this." Andy suggests, pulling into a parking lot and shutting off the car, "Why was Jack there?"

"He... uhm... he said he stopped by to say hello. He was drunk Andy. So drunk."

"Then what happened?" He was surprised she didn't put up her Captain's façade, she really did trust him.

"He said he missed me." She furrows her brow as she tries to form more words, "He kissed me and he..."

"Sharon, no." Andy says hesitantly, "He didn't, did he?"

"He tried to." She manages to choke out, her voice breaking, "I pushed him and told him not to, that we were divorced and it was finally over. Then you showed up."

"Sharon I'm so sorry." He unbuckles his seat belt and leans over to hug her, her form melting into him, "Next time I see that son of a bitch I'll kill him."

"No. Andy." She reprimands, her head resting on his shoulder, "I will not have my lieutenant put in prison for murdering my ex husband. Leave that to me." She chuckles in an attempt to lighten the extremely heavy mood.

"So..." Andy says awkwardly when Sharon releases him from the hug, "Anywhere special you want to go?"

"Surprise me." Sharon replies cheerily, clapping her hands in front of herself, "You're in control."

Andy tries not to laugh. This was the first time in their relationship (is that what they were calling it now?) that he was actually _in control_.

"Do you, uh, want to stop at my place for a while?" He asks cautiously, trying not to give the wrong impression, "Just relax, watch a movie maybe?"

"I'd love to, Andy." She replies with both a sad and somewhat shy smile, "Thank you."

Sharon was surprised that his condo had been built and furnished much like hers. If she changed the color of the couch, carpet, and drapes, they would be identical.

"Do you want something to drink? Tea maybe?"

"Tea would be great." She answers enthusiastically, awkwardly following behind Andy.

"Sit, turn on the TV, make yourself at home." He says kindly, waving one hand in the direction of the living room as he fills the teapot with the other, "I'll be over in a few."

"Alright." She sighs and awkwardly shuffles towards the living room.

It was difficult for her to relinquish control. She had always been in control. From her years as a teenager with boys wrapped around her finger, her years in the academy at the top of her class, even the years she had spent married to Jack; she had never once let him control her. Had he influenced her? Yes. Had he controlled her? No.

She felt small, insignificant. Being so helpless, sitting on another man's couch, allowing him to make decisions for her, allowing him to listen to her. After all, it wasn't every day Sharon Raydor talked about herself, especially deeply personal topics like Jack.

"Here's your tea." Andy announces, placing her mug on the end table and sitting in the chair across from her.

"Thank you." She replies with a smile and picks up the mug, warming her hands before taking a sip, "So what's the grand plan for tonight?"

"Don't really have one." Flynn replies with a shrug, reclining his chair, "This wasn't how I expected tonight to go."

"Me either." She shakes her head, "But we're together, enjoying each other's company, and we're both safe. That's what matters."

"Yeah. That's right." Andy replies lovingly, sporting a sideways grin, "You look amazing tonight."

"Oh... Thanks." She blushes, hiding her cheeks as she takes another sip of her tea, "We were supposed to talk about," She waves her free hand from herself to him, "this."

"Yeah." Andy sighs, walking over and leaning on the arm of the couch, "Can I sit?"

"Of course!" She exclaims and moves over to give him space to sit.

"Where do we start?" Andy questions, staring deeply into her eyes.

"I don't know." Sharon replies, surprise obvious in her voice, "I didn't really think about it."

"Alright." He breathes, running a hand through his hair, "How about you tell me one reason why you're so hesitant about having a relationship and I'll tell you one reason I'm not."

"Hm. Okay." Sharon replies, still getting used to not being in control, "I'm your superior officer."

"I could retire." He suggests, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into him, her head and hand resting on his chest, "I'm getting old, ya know?" He jokes.

"No you're not." She whispers, absentmindedly rubbing her hand in circles on his chest.

"Do you have another reason?"

"What if something goes wrong, what if we fail? It would jeopardize the team."

"If I retire, we don't have to worry about the team. If something would go wrong, I would fight for you Sharon. I would do anything to fix whatever I messed up." He gently kisses the crown of her head.

"But what if I mess up?"

"It'll be a beautiful mess." Andy replies with a chuckle, "I really want this Sharon. I want to be with you more than I've wanted anything in my entire life."

"Andy," she looks up at him, green eyes shining, "I don't want to lose our friendship."

"We won't." He assures her, placing a gentle kiss to her forehead, "We'll always be friends, no matter what."

"This is my fault." She sighs, closing her eyes and burying them in Andy's chest, "If I didn't say anything when you were shot and then I didn't kiss you then none of this would be happening." She rambles, "I ruined us."

"Do you think that?" Andy asks as calmly as possible, "You think it's bad that when your best friend was dying you said something you couldn't before? And that kiss? That was both of us. I kissed you back. You didn't ruin us. You made us take a step in the right direction. Did I get shot? Yeah." He shrugs sarcastically, "But it opened our eyes to something we never would have acted on on our own."

"You're right." She smiles, looking towards his lips before kissing him, giggling into his mouth, "You're right. This is right."

"This is right." Andy repeats as he deepened the kiss, smiling at the idea that she was _finally_ his.


	7. Amorado

A/N: Thanks to everyone for your positive feedback! It means a lot. On another note, don't comment hate, simple courtesy.

~oOo~

Sunlight shines in through the window and Sharon moves a little bit, stretching her arms before snuggling into her pillow. She feels the pillow move and opens her eyes just enough to see that it is Andy, sleeping soundly with one arm wrapped around her torso. He looks peaceful, drifting in and out of the serenity that was his new life. She smiles and runs her hand through his hair, placing a kiss to his cheek.

"Good morning sunshine." She whispers in his ear, her breath warm against his cheek, "It's time to get uuup."

"Sweetheart no." Andy mumbles, "Just a few more minutes. Please. I'd like to hold you."

She smiles and kisses his forehead. How could she turn down an offer like that? "Okay." She giggles and buries her head into his shoulder and says playfully, "But only a few more minutes."

"Yes Dear." Andy replies sleepily and runs his hand up and down her back. He feels her shiver at his touch and opens his eyes slightly, "Are you alright?"

"Yes." She answers, shivering again, "I'm just not used to this."

"It's alright my love." He comforts her, kissing the top of her head.

"Andy?"

"Yes?"

"Do you mean it? All the names you're calling me?"

He looks down at her and rubs her shoulder, "Of course I do. why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know." Sharon shrugs and she hears her phone ring, "Ugh we probably have a case. I should get that."

She gets up from the couch but Andy grabs her wrist and kisses her hand, "Hey beautiful, I love you."

"I love you too." She smiles and quickly walks down the hallway.

~oOo~

"Captain Raydor." Provenza grumbles at her.

"Well hello Lieutenant, how can I help you?"

"I have been calling you for the past half an hour. We got an ID on the victim."

"That's great, Lieutenant." She replies happily, "I'll be there in a bit."

"Captain," Provenza calls as she is about to hang up.

"Yes?"

"Bring that idiot with you."

"Lieuten-" Provenza ends the call.

~oOo~

"The weirdest thing just happened." Sharon says confused, walking back towards Andy, "Provenza knew we were together." Andy smiles and rises from the couch, wrapping his arms around her waist, "Oh no. No no no. This is bad. Very bad. Andy."

She looks up at him, her eyes flooding with worry, "It's okay sweetheart." He says running his hand up and down her cheek.

"He said I can bring you along." She half smiles and he kisses the corner of her mouth, "This is going to be complicated."

"I know." He sighs, "Tell you what, I'll drive you home, you get changed, and I'll see you at the office. Sound good?"

"Perfect." She smiles and meets his lips with hers.

"Sharon?"

"Hm?" She hums after they end the kiss, "Everything okay? Did I do something wrong?" She asks worriedly.

"No." Andy chuckles, placing his hands on her shoulders, "I was going to ask you to always kiss me like that."

"As long as you keep holding me like this." She smiles and they part, going to Andy's car.

~oOo~

"Good morning Captain." Andy greets as she steps off the elevator.

"Good morning Lieutenant." She smiles, "What did they find out about the victim?"

"Her name's Angeline Ruscio, age 46. Divorced, two children both in their twenties. Originally from Sacramento, she moved here with her ex in 1994."

"Thank you Lieutenant." She smiles gratefully, unlocking her office and walking inside.

"Actually there's something else." Andy says quietly, closing the door and drawing the blinds.

"Oh?" Sharon replies, placing her things on her desk, "And what is that?"

"You look absolutely stunning today." He grins, placing both hands in front of himself, "Gorgeous."

"Thank you." She blushes awkwardly, "As much as I'd love to, we can't do this here. You look amazing too Andy." She chuckles and walks past him and into the murder room, kissing his cheek on her way.

~oOo~

"Mr. Ruscio, I am Captain Sharon Raydor and this is Lieutenant Provenza." She explains to the ex husband, "I was wondering what you could tell us about Angeline."

"That bitch." He spits.

Sharon tenses a little but regains her composure, "Care to elaborate?"

"She was always drunk." He sighs, "She'd come home with men, screw them in _my_ bed, then abandon our children like they were nothing."

Sharon inhales sharply and Provenza questions next, "When was the last you spoke to your ex?"

"A few weeks ago. She contacted me, said she wanted to work things out, apologize for everything."

"And did you two meet?" Provenza asks annoyed.

"Last night." He sighs, placing his head in his hands.

"When and where?" Sharon asks, finally regaining her voice.

"I don't know." He answers.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Sharon questions.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Mr. Ruscio yells, standing up and slamming his hands on the table.

"Sir, calm down." Sharon instructs.

"I DONT KNOW!" He yells again, jumping across the table and grabbing her by the throat, slamming her head into the table.

"Sharon!" Flynn rushes in and pins the man against the wall and handcuffs him.

"Captain!" Provenza exclaims and shakes her gently.

Nothing. She doesn't move, doesn't say anything.

"Sharon!" Andy cries, his voice breaking, "Sweetie wake up, please."


	8. Blink

Told from Flynn's POV

~oOo~

All I wanted was for her to wake up. Just open her eyes and smile at me. Blink, move a finger, _something_. The son of a bitch that did this to her was lucky Provenza was there to hold me back, otherwise Julio and I would have had a field day. How could someone do that to her? How could anyone hurt someone so kind, beautiful, and funny? I rubbed my brow in frustration, looking towards Sharon in the hospital bed.

The doctors told me she had suffered a brain bleed, that she could have died. The surgeon had to cut off all of her hair and drill a hole in her skull to equalize the pressure. She could have _died_. We were finally happy, finally able to put the past behind us and she had almost been taken from me. Why?

Her eyelids started to flutter and I gently place my hand on top of hers, "Sharon?" I whisper.

"Jack." She mumbles in response.

"No sweetheart, it's Andy." She still looked beautiful, even without hair and a dark purple bruise covering the majority of her forehead.

"Andy? Where's Jack?" She asks sleepily, her eyes still closed.

"Don't you remember?" I ask sadly.

"Jack." She babbles again.

"Sharon, Beautiful, you and Jack are divorced, remember? I'm your boyfriend." _Dammit why couldn't she remember_!

"No!" She mumbles and rolls over, "Jack!"

"Sweetie do you remember Rusty?"

"Street boy." She whispers.

Shit. It's all I can do to not punch the wall and yell. How far back had she gone? It had to be at least three years, seeing as she didn't really remember Rusty.

I kiss her cheek and her eyelids before turning to leave, "I love you Sharon."

"Love you too." She replies and I smile momentarily, then realizing she probably wasn't talking _to me_.

~oOo~

"Hey Rusty."

"Lieutenant Flynn, hey. How's Sharon?"

"Actually," I sigh, "That's why I wanna talk to you. Are you home?"

"Yeah. I can make something if you want."

"Sure Kid, that'd be great, thank you."

"See you in a bit."

~oOo~

I walk up to Sharon's door and take a deep breath before I knock.

"Hey!" Rusty greets happily and opens the door, ushering me inside.

"Hey Kid." I reply, shoving my hands deep inside my pants pockets.

"So what's up? How's Sharon? I made burgers."

I walk over to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water before sitting down at the table, "Actually, that's the thing." I rub my jaw nervously.

Rust gets us each a burger and begins to eat. I guess he forgot I'm vegetarian.

"How bad is she?" Rusty asks, worry evident in his voice.

"Well...ah... that's the thing kid." How do I tell him this?

"Come on Lieutenant, I can handle it. Worse has happened." I wondered if he was telling the truth.

"She lost her memory. Don't know how far back yet. She thinks she's still married to Jack."

"Oh my God!" Rusty exclaims, spitting his mouthful of burger back onto the plate, "Well what- what do we do?!" Rusty gets up and begins pacing nervously around the kitchen, "How do we help her?"

"I think we have to call him."

"Andy... No. No way." Andy? I'll take that as a good sign.

"She thinks they're married. Maybe he'll clear it up."

"Yeah, or maybe he'll take her back!" Rusty yells, throwing his hands up angrily, "I can't lose her! I can't deal with Jack!"

"She," I drag my hand down my face, "She doesn't remember you much, or that we were together." I try to keep a stray tear from escaping, pinching my eyes shut.

"No." He starts walking in circles around me at the table, I feel like prey being circled by a lion, "No, no no, no! This can't be happening! We have to do something!"

"Hey, come here." I almost beg, waving my hand in the air as he walks towards me, "It's okay Buddy, sssh, it's okay." He wraps his arms around me and starts to cry, burying his face in my chest, "Sharon's gonna be okay. She's a fighter."

"I... I know." Rusty mumbles, pulling out and looking up at me, "We _have_ to help her remember."

"Yeah." I sigh, "But how?"

"I don't know but we can't call Jack." He emphasizes, "We _can't_. What about Emily or Ricky? Maybe they'll be able to do something?" He lets go of me and leans against the dining room chair, "I mean can't they prove how much time has passed? We should atleast call them."

"You know Kid," I rub my eyes, "You might be able to show her how much time has passed. You have your license now right?"

"Yeah...?"

"And you're in college and your stuff is all over the place here and she _adopted_ you. Let's get your adoption paperwork and her divorce papers together. Maybe something from the office she wrote with the date on it."

"That's great Lieutenant!" Rusty exclaims excitedly but still sad, "This might work!"

_Oh God I hope so. I just want to hold her again_ _and tell her how much I love her._


	9. Closing Doors

_A/N: Thanks to everyone for your sweet comments. I'm open to suggestions as to what you want to see from the story, I'll try and incorporate anyone's ideas as best I can! My PM's are always open, and as always, comments and favorites are much appreciated!_

_~oOo~_

_This chapter really has no purpose other than me feeling like writing fluff :)_

~oOo~

**Raydor's POV**

~oOo~

"Momma where's Dad?" Emily asked, running up and tugging on the hem of my skirt.

"He'll be back sweetie, just had to go to work." I hated lying to her, "You'll see him soon, I promise, okay?"

She smiled and I picked her up, groaning with the increased effort of her growing body.

"Mom what about me!"

"I only have two arms Ricky." I sigh sadly. Their father should be here for this.

"Momma hold still." Ricky begs and I do.

I feel him stepping on the back of my legs and grabbing my shoulders, wincing as his fingers got stuck in my hair. Emily and I started laughing as Ricky threw his legs over my shoulders, placing his hands on my head.

"See all better Momma!" Ricky exclaims happily and I laugh.

"Everything's better now right Em?"

"Yeah." She laughs as I walk through the house, picking up their toys and laundry. I hear a loud knock at the door and tense up. It was around 9:30 at night, it had to be Jack.

I cautiously walk over and open the door, the kids still hanging onto me.

"Sharon." Jack slurs when I open the door as he envelops me in a hug.

"Dad!" The kids exclaim together and smile at the sight of him. They were too innocent to understand the situation.

"Hi kids." He smelled of cigarettes and whiskey, "Behave for you mother?"

"They were great." I smile as he kisses me, feigning happiness, "Alright my two little pumpkins, Dad's home now get ready for bed!"

"Okay!" They yell happily as Jack picks Ricky off of my shoulders, setting him down and chuckling as he runs off down the hallway behind Emily.

"Hello there beautiful." Jack mumbles, coming in to hug me.

"No." I reply, placing a hand on his chest to stop his advances, "You are drunk. Sleep on the couch."

"Oh come on Shar!" He raises his voice, "You can't do that, I'm your husband."

"And I'm your wife and this is my house. You," I point, "Couch. Tonight."

"Dammit Sharon!"

"I'm not doing this tonight." I sigh and turn away from him, walking down the hallway and to our bedroom to change.

"Sharon please talk to me." He sighs, leaning against the other side of the door, "What can I do to fix this?"

"Nothing." I say firmly, opening the door, "You can pack your things, say goodbye to the children, and come back when you're sober."

"Sharon you can't make me leave!"

"Momma?" The kids come out, Emily hidden behind Ricky.

"Go to bed kids." I say lovingly, "I'll be right there."

The kids walk away and I turn to Jack, "You will leave and think about what you'be done or I will file divorce papers. Understood?"

"Sharon-"

"Out Jack." I say strongly, pushing him down the hallway and towards the door, "Call me when you get a hold of yourself."

"Sharon!"

"Goodbye Jack." I say seriously as he crosses the threshold, quietly pushing the door closed.

~oOo~

_I promise I didn't double upload, just bear with me_

_~oOo~_

"Momma where's Dad?" Emily asked, running up and tugging on the hem of my skirt.

"He'll be back sweetie, just had to go to work." I smile at the thought of him, "You'll see him soon, I promise, okay?"

She smiled and I picked her up, groaning with the increased effort of her growing body.

"Mom what about me!"

"I only have two arms Ricky." I sigh sadly. Usually their father did this.

"Momma hold still." Ricky begs and I do.

I feel him stepping on the back of my legs and grabbing my shoulders, wincing as his fingers got stuck in my hair. Emily and I started laughing as Ricky threw his legs over my shoulders, placing his hands on my head.

"See all better Momma!" Ricky exclaims happily and I laugh.

"Everything's better now right Em?"

"Yeah." She laughs as I walk through the house, picking up their toys and laundry. I hear a key tun in door and I grin with excitement. _Andy was finally home!_

I quickly walk over and open the door, the kids still hanging onto me.

"Sharon!" Andy greets joyfully, capturing my lips with his and hugging me, the kids giggling as they are caught in the middle.

"Dad!" The kids exclaim together and smile at the sight of him. They loved him so much.

"Hey kids!" He grinned, kissing each of us on the cheek, "Behave for you mother?"

"They were great." I smile as he kisses me again, both of us overjoyed to be in one another's company, "Alright my two little pumpkins, Dad's home now get ready for bed!"

"Okay!" They yell happily as Andy picks Ricky off of my shoulders, setting him down and chuckling as he runs off down the hallway behind Emily.

"Hello there beautiful." Andy says lovingly, coming in to hug me.

"Hey there handsome." I smile and giggle as he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close, "How was your day?"

"Better now that I'm with you." He whispers seductively, nuzzling his nose into my cheek, "You are so beautiful."

"I love you too Andy." I grin, gently kissing him, "Let's get the kids to bed."

"Only if I can get you to bed." He responds cheekily as I walk down the hallway.

"Why of course Lieutenant." I laugh as we walk hand-in-hand to the kid's room.

"Momma story!" The kids chant as Andy and I enter their room.

"Which one?" I ask as Andy jumps onto Ricky's bed where he and Emily sat, knocking both of them over in a fit of giggles.

"The one about Louie!" Emily blurts out through giggles.

"Okay." I smile and sit down on the bed as Emily crawls into my lap.

Andy reached for my hand and I smile as our fingers intertwine. He starts the story, "Once upon a time there was a man named Louie. He was always grumpy and complained about how much Daddy loved Mommy." He smiled at me and winked.

"Daddy loves Mommy so much that Louie was sad because he was lonely."

"So Daddy found a friend for Louie. Her name was Joan. Louie and Joan are happy like Momma and Dad."

"And that's how Aunt Joan and Uncle Louie became a part of our family." I smiled. It was a silly little story but the kids loved it.

"Thank you Momma!" They kids exclaim and crawl into their beds.

"And Dad." I smile and look to Andy, our hands stil tucked together.

"Goodnight kids, we'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Yes Dad." They smile as I turn off the light and close their door.

"Now," Andy smiles as we enter our room, wrapping his arms around me and kissing down my neck and shoulder, "it's time for me to put you to bed."

"One second." I say and kiss his lips as I walk to the door and quietly push it closed, "Now where were we?"


	10. Flutterbye

_A/N: Just a little filler chapter :) The following ones get more interesting and Shandy-y I promise._

_~oOo~_

_Her green eyes flutter open._

~oOo~

"Hello Beautiful." Andy smiles and reaches for her hand, his chocolate eyes full of emotion.

"Her Sharon." Rusty waves with a shrug, "How're you feeling?"

"Good." She says with a shy smile, "Rusty when did you become so close with Lieutenant Flynn?"

"Don't you remember?" Andy asks carefully, squeezing her hand as she slowly tries to pull it away.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about." She closes her eyes and tilts her head back, exposing a green and blue bruise on her neck.

"Do you remember how you got here?" Andy asks, looking at her lovingly.

Rusty hesitates for a moment, "Lieutenant Flynn, May I?"

"Sure kid." Andy smiles weekly.

"Sharon," she looks to him, her green eyes regaining their life, "What day is it?"

"Thursday?" She hesitates.

"Good." Rusty smiles, sounding like a teacher, "What month?"

"Hm... January."

"Perfect." He claps, "Now what year?"

Sharon's eyes flood with worry, "2012?"

"Sharon sweetheart," she looks to Andy again, "Sharon it's 2015."

"No!" She exclaims, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Sharon you remember Rusty don't you?"

"Of course." She replies regrettably, her gaze softening.

"How old am I?" Rusty interjects.

"Fifteen."

"No Sharon." He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and removes his license, "I'm nineteen."

Sharon looks from Rusty to Andy almost in disbelief, "Lieutenant what is going on here?"

"Sharon," He says lovingly, "Do you remember me?"

"Of course."

"Do you remember _us?_"

She shoots him a questioning look, "Lieutenant I would never, I'm a married woman."

"No, you're not." Andy hands her the divorce papers, love still filling his eyes, "Look at the date."

Sharon hesitantly reads the file, signed _October 17, 2014._

"What happened to me?" She asks in shock, "What the hell!"

Andy and Rusty glance at one another worriedly, Sharon never used language like this.

"Sweetheart you were," Andy pauses and rubs his chin, "attacked by a suspect. You've been in the hospital since last night."

"Alright, uhm," Sharon unconsciously reaches up to push hair from her face, met only by her bare scalp, "Andy!"

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay. The doctors had to cut off your hair but it'll grow back."

Rusty slowly backs out of the room, feeling intrusive.

"What? What do I do?"

"You go back to sleep. I'll come by later, okay?"

"Of course." She smiles weakly, "Thank you Andy."

"No problem." He grins, rising from his seat and placing a kiss to her lips.

She slowly breaks the kiss and looks at him happily, "What was that for Lieutenant?"

"That was for being alive. I love you. Call later?"

"Sure Andy." She smiles as he opens the door to her room, "Be careful."

"I will." He winks and snaps his fingers, "I love you."

"I... love you too." She says hesitantly.

It had been a long and tiring day. She was the mother of a teenage boy and was in love with her lieutenant. Andy was right, she needed some sleep.

~oOo~

_Her green eyes flutter closed_.

~oOo~


	11. Pain

_A/N: I'm super proud of this story and the amazing support it's gotten, but none of that would be possible without you fabulous readers!_

~oOo~

"Hello there Captain."

"Lieutenant Provenza, what a nice surprise." She smiles as he sits, his cap in his hands, "How are things?"

"Y'know," he mumbles, "same old. How are you feeling?"

"Alright I guess, it's just a lot. Lieutenant Flynn and Rusty came in earlier and talked with me for a little while. It seems I've forgotten some things." She blurts out quickly. Provenza reaches over and places his hand on top of hers and she offers a warm smile.

"Here's what you need to know," he says bluntly in typical Provenza fashion, "You adopted Rusty, he's a freshman in college. He lives on campus but stays with you otherwise. Lieutenant Flynn is an idiot, there's more to it than that but it's not my buisness. Chief Taylor is worried sick about you," he says sarcastically, "and I quite enjoy being in charge."

"Oh I'm sure you do." She teases, giggling at his comments, "Louie?"

He nods his head to acknowledge her, it was unusual for her to use his first name, "Yes Captain."

"Would you happen to have an extra hat? I would really appreciate one."

"I'll see what I can do." He smiles, "Need anything else before I go?"

"No." She grins, tapping his hand as he begins to walk away, "Thank you Lieutenant."

The next few hours were relatively easy, filled with doctors, nurses, and meals she could barely eat. She was having a difficult time eating before the attack, now she was almost hopeless. She shook her head, frustrated at herself and longed for the feel of her hair swaying around her ears. _So much had changed, _but it wasn't all bad. She had another son and boyfriend who cared about her.

"Hey Beautiful." Andy greets quietly as Sharon opens her eyes, "How're you feeling?"

"Alright I guess." She replies with a breathy laugh, "Provenza came by earlier."

"He did?" Andy asks, surprise in his voice, "Well that's nice."

"I thought so." She smiles and slides to the far side of the bed, tapping the empty side as an indication for Andy to sit.

"I... I don't want to hurt you." He hesitates.

"Andy, it's okay." She assures him and he slips off his shoes and lays in the bed beside her.

"You still look gorgeous." Andy smiles lovingly and pulls her onto his chest, she obliges with a grateful hum.

"Andy?" She looks up at him, her emerald eyes starting to fill with water.

"What's wrong Sweetheart?" The concern in his voice causes her to smile weakly.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Hurt me?" He asks confused, pulling her closer, "You're not hurting me.""

"No," her voice breaks and she shakes her head, "I don't remember what we had or what we were. I don't want you to be upset or sad when you look at me and don't see the woman you fell in love with."

She buries her face in his chest and starts crying, Andy running circles on her lower back, "You'll always be the woman I fell in love with Sharon." He kisses the crown of her head and continues to massage her back, "You're still the woman I fell in love with."

"Thank you." She looks up and smiles at him, their eyes meeting, a world of emotion flooding between the two, "May I?" She asks cautiously, gently running her finger on his bottom lip.

"Of course." He chuckles and presses his lips to hers, feeling her internally hum with pleasure.

They break the kiss and she smiles at him, a new warmth filling her eyes, "Why did we wait so long to do this?"

"I don't know Beautiful." He chuckles and gently kisses her lips, "I don't know."


	12. A World of Gray

Backwards. Everything was going backwards. Two months ago Sharon and Andy were just friends, _forwards_. Andy was shot, _backwards_. They said they loved each other, _forwards_. Sharon was attacked, _backwards_. So the next step has to be forwards... doesn't it?

~oOo~

Andy and Rusty arrived at the hospital around noon to take Sharon home. She had changed into a pair of light jeans and a white sweater, pulling the sleeves down and bunching them up in her hands. She smiled and greeted Rusty with a hug and Andy with a quick peck to the cheek. Andy smiles and pulls a gift from behind his back, giving it to Sharon.

"Andy you didn't have to." She says gratefully.

"I didn't." He shrugs, "You can thank Provenza later."

"Oh?" She sends him a questioning glare and struggles to open the package.

"Uhm, Sharon," Rusty interjects, "may I?"

"Yes please." She smiles and hands him the package.

"Close your eyes." Rusty instructs and she refuses. Andy places his hands over her eyes and she laughs, flailing to fight him off, "Here you go." Rusty smiles and she feels him place something on her head. Andy removes his hands from her eyes and she sees herself in the reflection of the glass hospital doors, a gray knit beanie resting atop her head.

"It's perfect." She smiles, covering her mouth with her hand, "I need to call the team."

"No, no." Andy teases, "We're gonna take you home and you're gonna rest, doctor's orders. I can take you tomorrow to drop by and say hello if you want." He shrugs and throws his jacket over his shoulder, placing an arm around Sharon's waist and exiting the hospital, "But you can't go back to work for two weeks yet."

"Uuugh." Sharon sighs and they all laugh.

~oOo~

Sharon had forgotten how good it felt to be home. The couch, the refrigerator, the serenity she always felt while there. Andy had made lasagna for dinner and the three of them sat to eat, light conversation filling the room.

"I'm sorry you don't remember me." Rusty says, pushing the lasagna around his plate, "I promise I'm not awful."

"He's really not." Andy assists, swallowing a mouthful and dabbing his chin with a napkin, "He's a great kid."

Rusty's cheeks flush a bright red, "I'm actually starting to remember." Sharon exclaims gleefully, "Everythings coming back in bits and pieces but it's there." She smiles weakly, struggling between two realities, "Andy are you done eating?"

"Please, let me." Andy takes the last bite of his food and picks up her plate, walking towards the kitchen.

"I... I gotta go. Homework." Rust stutters and gets up from the table.

"Rusty? Are you alright?"

"I will be Sharon." He smiles weakly and hurries off to his room.

"Well that was weird." Sharon utters, readjusting her hat as Andy steps into her vision, "Rusty is being so odd."

"It's been difficult for him." Andy replies, slowly reaching up and adjusting her hat, "He's feeling more than he wants us to know. Come on," he smiles and quickly kisses her cheek, "let's get you to bed."

~oOo~

After Sharon had changed into pajamas and combed her hair, she opened the door for Andy, watching as he awkwardly shuffled in.

"So here's your medicine, take one now and one if you wake up in the middle of the night." He placed the pill bottle on the nightstand and watched as she curled up on the bed, her auburn hair starting to return in loose tufts, "Goodnight. Call me if you need anything, okay?" He kissed her forehead and pulled the blankets around her, smiling as she snuggles into them, "I love you."

"Andy?" Her emerald eyes began to close, "You can stay if you would like."

"No." He says, still smiling, "I couldn't do that."

"Please?" Sharon mumbles, sleep taking over her weak body, "Just somebody to hold me."

"Not tonight, Beautiful." He brushes a stray lock of hair from her face and kisses her forehead again, "I'll see you in the morning. I love you."

"I love you too." She smiles, her eyes still closed, "I'll see you later."

She hears Andy walk out of her room and quietly close her bedroom door, smiling as she dreamt of her life, the good and the bad, black and white, swirling together in a beautiful gray.


	13. Softly

_A/N: Thanks to everyone for your sweet reviews! I'm totally grasping at straws for these two, so receiving comments and PM's about how well they are being portrayed puts a huge smile on my face!_

~oOo~

Sharon wakes around 9 in the morning and slowly walks towards the kitchen, attempting to fight off a head ache. She switches on the coffee pot and turns towards the living room to watch the morning news. She sees a pair of feet sticking off the end of her couch and she smiles to herself, _Andy had stayed the night_.

"Wake up sleepyhead." She whispers quietly, running her finger softly down his nose, "Time to wake up."

"Good morning." He responds without opening his eyes, placing his hand on top of hers and bringing it to his lips, lightly kissing her palm, "How you feeling?"

"Good." She smiles, running her hand up and down his chest, scratching him softly, "Just a little headache."

"I need to take you to the doctor." Andy's eyes spring open and he is immediatley standing at her side, "Something might be wrong."

"Andy," she shakes her head and wraps her arms around his waist, cuddling against him, "I'm fine, I promise."

"Sharon," he sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair, "I can't loose you."

"You won't. I promise, okay?" She kisses his chest and listens to his heartbeat, he wraps his arms around her and kisses the top of her head.

"Please, come to the doctor. For me."

"Andy." She says almost jokingly, pulling out to lightly slap his chest, "I'm a grown woman."

"Yeah, a grown woman that just got out of the hospital. Come on." He pulls her by her hand towards the door, picking up her purse and writing a note for Rusty.

~oOo~

"Alright you two," a nurse smiles happily, "your scans came back and everything looks fine considering. You're starting to heal so you may get headaches for a few weeks, the changes in your brain are more than it's used to dealing with."

"Thank you." Sharon smiles gratefully as Andy lets out a sigh of relief.

"It's not a problem Mrs. Raydor, make sure that husband of yours takes good care of you." She looks to Andy and winks.

Sharon pauses for a moment, her eyes locking with Andy's, "He-he will."

"Have a nice day!" She smiles and leaves the room.

~oOo~

"Hey uh, uhm I'm sorry." Andy stutters, "That was awkward."

"No." Sharon shakes her head dismissively, patting his thigh, "It's fine. Really. Lunch?"

"Oh, of course. Definitely." Andy smiles and stands, offering his arm. She smiles and takes it, sliding her hand down to his before intertwining their fingers together.

"Is this okay?" She asks, radiating happiness.

"Better than okay." Andy smiles, leaning down and slowly kissing her lips, pushing up her chin with his fingers, "I love you Beautiful."

"I love you too." She responds blissfully, running a hand across his cheek, "Come on, I'm hungry."

~oOo~

"Hello Captain, Lieutenant." The waitress greets, "Haven't seen your team much lately."

"They've been busy." Sharon states, trying to hide her face behind Andy's shoulder.

"Did you get a haircut? I like it. Looks good on you."

"Ah. Thanks." She replies, pressing her lips into a thin line, "I'm still getting used to it." She reaches into her purse and pulls out her hat, quickly pulling it over her head.

"Are you ready to order?" She asks, pulling out a pen and notepad.

"Yeah." Andy looks to Sharon and smiles, tapping his fingers on the table, "A hamburger for the Captain and a salad for me."

"Coming right up." The waitress smiles, jotting on her notepad and walking off.

"Andy!" Sharon giggles, wrapping her arm around his and scooching closer to him, "A burger?"

"Yeah." He turns and looks at her lovingly, "You need to eat a little more than salad, keep yourself healthy."

"Thank you." She smiles, kissing him tenderly, gently pulling on his bottom lip when she ends the kiss.

"You are such a tease." He jokes, this time kissing her, gently exploring her mouth, "And a beautiful one at that."

"Andy!" She giggles and pushes him away when he starts to leave kisses down her neck, "Someone could see us!"

"I don't care." He replies lovingly with a shrug, "I'm happy."

"So very happy." She says seriously and kisses him passionately this time, smiling to herself as the rest of the world faded away.


	14. Not About Angels

A/N: This isn't my sandbox, I just borrow it now and again.

~oOo~

"Come on, it'll be fun. The team misses you."

She reaches over and places her hand on top of Andy's, "I'm scared."

"It's okay." He glances to her for a moment before looking back to the road, "I'll be right beside you, I promise."

"I just," she breathes out frustrated, "I don't want all the attention."

"Oh come one," Andy chuckles, "You weren't shot."

"Stop acting like that's a good thing!" She laughs as they pull into the parking lot.

"If you insist." Andy replies lovingly, squeezing her hand and kissing her cheek before walking towards the precinct.

~oOo~

"Captain!" Sykes exclaims and hugs her happily, "I'm so glad you're okay! I stopped by at the hospital but you were sleeping. How are you feeling?"

"Good." Sharon sighs, looking at the ground and rocking back on her heels, "Lieutenant Flynn and Rusty have been taking good care of me."

"Oh I'm sure he has." Provenza mumbles sarcastically from across the murder room, "I'm sure he has."

"Lieutenant," she walks over to Provenza and smiles, leaning against his desk, "thank you for the hat."

"Yeah, yeah." He mumbles and waves his hand in the air dismissively, "Don't tell the others."

"No promises." She laughs and taps his shoulder as she walks towards Julio and Tao.

"Captain." Both greet and rise, extending their hands in unison.

"Good to see you back ma'am."

"Oh, no." She looks to the ground again and shakes her head, "Julio I'm not back on duty yet. Soon though, I hope."

"Not for at least two weeks yet." Andy smiles and walks up behind her, placing a hand on the small of her back. She takes a small step away, trying to keep her distance. _It was work after all_.

"Lieutenant can I speak to you in my office?" She asks rather irritably, walking towards it and quickly unlocking the door.

~oOo~

"What's wrong?" He asks worriedly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Andy. The blinds." She responds, ignoring his question, "Please."

"Yeah." He claps his hands in front of him in defeat and walks over to close the blinds, Provenza rolls his eyes from the murder room, "So what's wrong?"

"I need space around the others Andy. In here I am _The Captain_. I'm sorry. This was a bad idea." She walks behind her desk and looks out the window, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Sharon?" Andy asks hesitantly, knowing she needed space, "I'm sorry. I'm trying to keep you safe. I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't." She responds, still looking out the window, "But when we're here we have to be professionals, especially with Chief Taylor lurking around."

"Sharon," Andy takes a step closer to her and extends his hand, "come here."

"I'm sorry." She sighs, taking his hand and hugging him, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Beautiful. Dance with me?"

"Did you even listen to me?" She laughs, pulling out to grin at him, "And there's no music."

"Listen." Andy tells her and they start to dance, one of his hands on her lower back, the other holding hers softly.

Sharon smiles and she can feel herself blush as Andy starts to sing:

"_We know full well there's just time_  
_So is it wrong to toss this line?_  
_If your heart was full of love_  
_Could you give it up?_  
_'Cause what about, what about angels?_  
_They will come, they will go, make us special _  
_Don't give me up_  
_Don't give,_  
_Me up_  
_How unfair, it's just our love_  
_Found something real that's out of touch_  
_But if you'd searched the whole wide world_  
_Would you dare to let it go?_  
_'Cause what about, what about angels?_  
_They will come, they will go, make us special _  
_Don't give me up_  
_Don't give,_  
_Me up_  
_'Cause what about, what about angels?_  
_They will come, they will go, make us special_  
_It's not about not about angels, angels"_

Andy finishes the song and she smiles at him, "I didn't know you could sing."

"Yeah well," he grins, kissing her nose, "I'm full of surprises."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
The song is Not About Angels by Birdy


	15. Comparisons

_A/N: Your sweet reviews give me reason to continue. I love you all so much! *fandom hug* Please don't send hate for the content of this chapter, and as always,thanks!_

~oOo~

"Andy you can stay." She calls from underneath the covers, curled up on her bed, "Please."

"I... I don't know." He replies hesitantly, caressing the length of her leg underneath the blanket.

"Andrew Flynn," she sits up in the bed and takes his hand in hers, "you are going to take off your jacket and shoes and lay with me, clear?"

"Yes Captain." He chuckles and leans down, kissing her forehead before walking to the other side of the bed. He slips off his shoes and takes off his jacket and tie before hesitantly laying down next to Sharon.

~oOo~

"Andy what's wrong?" She rolls over to face him and gently places a hand on his chest, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He smiles, leaning forward and kissing her nose, "I just- I'm scared I'm going to hurt you."

"Andy you're not hurting me." She smiles and shakes her head, inching closer to him, "Why would you think that?"

"I- just- I-," he lets out a noise of frustration before pulling Sharon closer to him and kissing her deeply, the passion exchanged igniting a fire within the two of them, "God I love you but I don't want to disappoint you. I'm like Jack. I'm an alcoholic. You already let one ruin your life, why would you even give me the chance?" He squeezes his eyes shut and a silver tear escapes, running down his cheek. Sharon reaches up and gently pushes it away with her thumb before kissing his lips.

"Andy you are _not_ Jack. Don't you ever _for a second_ think that. Jack threw away our money, our family, and my love for the comfort he found at the bottom of a bottle. You're here with me, not him. You turned your life around and got sober. You stayed sober. You're making amends with your children and your ex. You are _nothing_ like Jack, okay? I love you for everything that you are right now but I also love you for the man that you used to be. Without that man we would never have this you, the one that makes me feel safe and loved and kisses so well." She giggles and lays on his chest, "Don't ever try and compare yourself to him because there's no contest. If I didn't meet you after I was married I'd have picked you every time. Don't you _ever_ doubt my feelings for you, please Andy? There is nowhere else and no one else in the entire world I'd rather be with."

"Sharon I don't doubt you." He sighs, kissing her scalp, "I doubt myself. I'm not the... the kind of man people are proud to be seen with. The kind of person that knows how to put someone else before myself or, or," he stutters, "I only ever hurt people Sharon. I don't know if I can do this. I don't want to hurt you more than I already have. I'm so sorry."

"Andy, please stop talking like this. I _chose you_ just as much as you chose me. Stop doubting yourself."

She looks up at him and he sees something shift in her eyes. The bright shimmering emerald green dull and clouded, hazy almost. He was hurting her in his best attempt not to. _Idiot_.

"Sharon I'm sorry. I need to go." He mutters out, carefully slipping out of the bed, "I can't do this."

"Andy," he hears her voice break as she says his name, she sits up in the bed to look at him, "don't go, please."

"I don't want to hurt you Sharon." He emphasizes by raising his hands, "You're too important for me to hurt."

"Alright fine, go." She closes her eyes to hold back the tears, waving a hand in the air dismissively, "But Andy,"

He turns in the doorway to face her, "Hm?"

"You're hurting me. _This_ is hurting me. You said you didn't want to be like Jack, but leaving for no reason, that's _exactly_ like Jack."


	16. Bonding

_A/N: This chapter is honestly my favorite so far, and it isn't even Shandy (they'll be back, I promise) I thought some mother!ship was much needed :)_

~oOo~

Tears. She was used to the burning sensation in her eyes, the moisture soaking into her hair and staining her pillows. What she wasn't used to, however, was the pain that now came with the tears. She felt like something was missing, _someone_.

She had cried over Jack too many times to count, but as the years progressed, they became tears for her children more than for herself. She cried because Jack didn't love them. Because he hurt their family, destroyed it. Now, she was crying for Andy, for the spot she had unconsciously created for him, as both a friend and something more. Now he was gone and she missed him, more than she had ever missed anyone.

_I'm not going to beg. If he truly cares he will come back. If he truly loves me he will apologize_.

~oOo~

"Hey Sharon?" Rusty knocks on her door and props himself in the doorway, "Want something to eat?"

"Hm? Sure Honey." She stretches and puts on a smile, trying not to worry him, "I'll be out in a minute, alright?"

"Yeah, uhm, sure." Rusty smiles and walks off, closing the door.

~oOo~

"So what are we having?" Sharon asks excitedly, clapping her hands.

"Uh, just pb&amp;j." Rusty mumbles, waving the sandwich in his hand. Sharon winces as crumbs fall to the floor but decides not to comment on it, "Strawberry or grape?"

"Strawberry." She smiles and walks towards the living room, a mischievous grin on her face.

~oOo~

"Sharon what are you...?" Rusty walks into the living room with her sandwich and sees her sitting on the floor, x-box controller in hand.

"I just thought we should spend some time together, a lot has happened and I need to know you're alright."

"I, I'm good." Rusty replies, sitting down on the floor next to her, "Here's your sandwich."

"Thank you." She smiles and accepts it gratefully, taking a bite, "What game?"

"How about this one?" Rusty picks up the second controller and scrolls through the menu before finding a racing game, "Is this alright?"

"Yeah." Sharon laughs, eating her sandwich, "Just because you know I'd beat you at your shooting games."

"Ah, no." Rusty replies sarcastically as the game launches, "Prepare to eat my dust!"

~oOo~

"Rusty stop it!" Sharon exclaims with a laugh as he drives up in front of her and slams on the brakes, causing her to crash into his car, "That's cheating!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Rusty teases and leans over, gently bumping Sharon's shoulder, "You're the one that hit me."

"But you.." She tries to argue, "Rusty!"

"Come on, catch up!" He exclaims, leaning over and bumping into Sharon's shoulder again, "I don't want to have to tell the team you're a bad driver."

"But it's your fault!" She laughs, nearly on the verge of tears, "It's not my fault!"

"Look you won!" Rusty applauds, raising his hands in defeat, "Awesome!"

"Rusty...?" She narrows her eyes and glares at him, "You let me win, didn't you?"

"Pssh no, why would I do that?" He inquires, standing up, "Ice cream?"

"Definetly." Sharon smiles as he walks towards the kitchen, "And you know, I always get a confession." She teases, enjoying the much needed bonding time with her son.

~oOo~

"Sharon I got chocolate for you and peanut butter cup for- what are you doing?" He laughs, looking at the screen, his once blond avatar now with flowing auburn locks, "Can I have the controller?"

"Nope." She replies childishly, grabbing her bowl of ice cream and crawling away from him.

"Sharon come on, all my friends can see my avatar."

"Oh well." She giggles and eats a spoon of her ice cream, adding a pair of large, brown-rimmed glasses to her character, "Almost done." She grins.

"Sharoooooonnn. Come on, please."  
He begs, crawling towards her and reaching for the controller. She scoots back just out of reach, causing Rusty to land face-first in her ice cream, "Not bad." He jokes, licking some ice cream from his face, "You should really have some."

"Rusty no!" She squeals and gets up, running towards the kitchen, "Please don't!"

"Then give me the controller?" He asks, quirking an eyebrow.

"Never." She smirks and tries to walk past him when he presses the bowl of ice cream into her face, "Russell Beck Raydor!" She exclaims, her arms extended in front of her, "No vide games for a month, understood?"

"Sharon!" He sighs, following her back to the living room and watching as she turns off the x-box, then picking up the second bowl of ice cream, _oh no_.

"I told you," She smiles gleefully, pressing the bowl of peanut butter ice cream into his face, "I always get a confession. Goodnight." She laughs and walks off down the hallway.

_Today wasn't so bad after all, was it?_


	17. Trial and Error

A/N: As always, all the sweet reviews keep me writing :) This is the last chapter that I had prewritten, so starting now I'm open to suggestions! Feel free to PM me lovelies~

~oOo~

"Andy I can't keep doing this." She sits across from him at her kitchen table, carefully sipping tea, "You can't just be here for me when it's convenient for you. Either you are a part of Rusty and my lives or you aren't. I can't continue letting you pick and choose when it suits you."

"Sharon," he sighs and looks down at the bottle of his favorite juice she had bought for him, "I want to be a part of your lives, believe me, I do,"

"But..." Sharon coaxes him sarcastically.

"But I don't know how to. I haven't been in a successful relationship in," he blows out a puff of air, "well, since Melinda, but even that didn't last long. Then it was just one night stands, girls that'd come home with me when I'd go out drinking. But you," he looks up from the table to Sharon, her eyes misty as she wipes away a tear that hadn't yet fallen, "you're something else. You're this beautiful, amazing, frustrating _enigma_ that I don't ever want to let go. I just, I don't know how to treat you the way you deserve to be treated Sharon."

"Andy," she chuckles and shakes her head, extending her hand. He takes it and gives it a gentle squeeze, "I haven't been overly successful either." She continues to shake her head slowly, once again missing the 'swish' of her hair around her ears, "But for this to work we have to be here for each other. I can't have someone else like Jack in my life. Either you stay or you go. Just know that I love you no matter which you choose."

"Sharon I could never leave you." He looks up at her and smiles, watching as love fills her eyes, "You deserve a choice too." He whispers, afraid of what she'll say.

"Andy I've already made my choice." She smiles and gently pulls on his hand, leading him from the dining room to the living room, "I chose you before I knew I even had a choice."

"Thank you." He whispers and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her close and gently kissing her lips, "Dance with me?"

"Of course." She laughs, standing up on her tip-toes and kissing him back, "Music?"

"Why not?" He chuckles and grins widely as he watches her walk to the stereo and turn it on.

She laughs and cuddles into him as the music starts to play. He rocks her back and forth and she laughs, overjoyed that everything had been amended.

_Caught in the riptide_  
_I was searching for the truth_  
_There was a reason_  
_I collided into you_

"Have I told you I love you lately?" Andy jokes, pulling her up and capturing her lips, "Because I do."

_Calling your name in the midnight hour_  
_Reaching for you from the endless dream_

"You can stay tonight, if you're comfortable with that?"

"Hold on a minute!" He exclaims joyfully and runs out of her condo, her look of happiness instantly fading.

_So many miles between us now_  
_But you are always here with me_  
_Nobody knows why_  
_Nobody knows how_

"I keep a spare set of clothes in my car!" He runs back in and wraps his arms around her, picking her up and holding her above his head.

"So this is what it feels like to be tall." She laughs, leaning down and kissing him deeply.

_This feeling begins just like a spark_  
_Tossing and turning inside of your heart_  
_Exploding in the dark_

"Andrew Flynn, I love you." She looks down at him, her green eyes shimmering, "Where were you all my life?"

"You know, just on the other side of a door." He laughs, carefully sitting her back down.

_Calling your name in the midnight hour_  
_Reaching for you from the endless dream_

"You know we need to go to Taylor about this." She sighs, wrapping her arms around his waist and closing her eyes.

"I know sweetheart. Everythig will be okay because we love each other."

_So many miles between us now_  
_But you are always here with me_

"So you'll stay tonight?" She opens her eyes and grins before kissing his chin and down his neck.

"Of course I will, Beautiful." He whispers, kissing the top of her head, "I'm glad we worked this out."

_I find my way back to you_  
_Back to you_

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

Song is _Here With Me_ by Susie Suh and Robot Koch, and unfortunately I don't own that either.


End file.
